Forgiveness - Bishop Sam Chidoka

Matthew 18:21-35 21

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[a]

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[b] was brought to him.

25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’

27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.

33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

The word translated Forgive in the bible can also mean to let go, give up a debt or neglect a wrong doing. Forgiveness is a conscious or deliberate effort made towards a person who has harmed or hurt you, in obedience to the word of God. It means giving up the right to retaliate. It means to wipe the slate clean, to let go of a debt.

The one forgiven may or may not deserve it! As we journey in this world, people will hurt us, harm us, say or do hurtful things, gossip, tell lies, deliberately do something we do not like. This is a human characteristic which we cannot change because we are all different. Cultural, environmental and family experiences affect the way we reason and act. Hence offences, disagreements, hurts will occur.

As Christians we are expected to forgive those that hurt us. It is important to note that forgiving someone does not mean you do not take responsibility for your part in the hurt e.g. If you told someone your secret and they use it against you, or you also hurt the person.

Forgiveness is not same as forgetting, as humans, we are not wired to forgive and forget. Only God can forgive and forget.

Jeremiah 31:34 "And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." However if whenever you remember the hurt you are still very upset, angry and wanting to get back, you have not forgiven!

Why we must forgive:-

1. God commands us to forgive -

Colossians 3:13 "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."

2. So that our prayers can be answered -

Mark 11:25 "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

3. God forgave us so much -

Romans 5:8 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." 4. Forgiveness releases us from sadness, anger, bitterness, depression and emotional prison and replaces same with happiness, love, good health

5. Jesus forgave those that hurt him -

Luke 23:34 "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots."

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in You" CS Lewis

How to forgive:-

1. Admit you have been hurt and still have not forgiven

2. Find a reason to forgive (See five reasons above)

3. Pray and tell God you have forgiven the person.

4. Speak to the person and say I have forgiven you. (if you have hurt someone go and apologise like the prodigal son)

 5. Realize you are not God and you cannot forgive and forget.